The Daily Grind

1.) It’s official.  I’m staying at the Ranch at least an extra week.  It remains to be seen whether or not I’ll shift my flight back a few weeks yet.  The Clash song is reverberating in my head right now.

2.) Today I feel a little lost.  I wish there was a compass that could tell me where to go in life.  I know the Universe will guide me eventually, but patience has never been my strong suit.  Right now, I’m just trying to trust.

3.) When it rains, it pours.  A fact for both the rainforest and life.

4.) I really hope my Grandaddy will be okay.  Please pray for him/send good karma his way.

5.) I think I’m going to rent a bike tomorrow and see how far I can get before sunset.  Bicycles always take me good places.

6.) Also tomorrow, I’m going to try my hand at cow-milking.  Milk with your tea, anyone?

7.) To say that someone’s cool here, you can say él/ella es Pura Vida.  That means that he/she is pure life.  I love it.  What would the world be like if everyone thought of themselves as being pure life?

 

The Daily Grind

1.) The more I learn about weeds, the more I realize what amazing, under-appreciated, (and delicious!) things they are.

2.) Tomorrow I am saying goodbye to my best friend at the Ranch.  My heart hurts.  Some people you just connect with, as though they were your sibling in another life.

3.) I have reached the last few days of my stay at the ranch.  I am caught in limbo, struggling with whether to stay or move on.  I don’t know if I’m ready to let go yet.  I feel like I blinked my eyes and it all disappeared.

4.) I love this place more than words can express.  And yet I have never missed home more.  I guess, before this past year, I never really felt like I had a home to go back to.

5.) Last night, I ended up in a dance competition at the discoteca.  I lost, but hey, I can’t compete with someone who takes their clothes off.  Or well, I guess I could, but I’m not going to.

6.) The more I travel and pursue my passions, the more I realize how many people are pulling for me.  I am so blessed and grateful to have the experience of so much love and support.

7.)  This post may be a little more emotional than others.  But I guess that’s the way things go when you’re starting to look back.

The practice of brokenness

Too thin, too fat, too broken, too scared.  Need a bandaid, need a pill, need a difficult “solution.”  We need to impose our superior human minds to create a solution from this chaotic void we call the world.  Whether it be fixing our imperfect bodies – working out more, drinking less caffeine, wearing the right types of flattering clothes, or imposing our changes on a natural space – weeding the garden, for instance – we constantly feel the need to fix things.  For some reason, we are convinced that nature is built broken and we need to fix it.  That in fact, we are the only ones who can fix it.

But what if, what if, we are wrong?  What if everything is already perfect, and all that we need to do is work on changing our perceptions, and our relationships, to this idea of perfection?

Take our bodies for instance.  Our feet are built perfectly to support us, and yet we stuff them into over-cushioned shoes that are supposed to “fix” the structure of our feet, when really they just cause weakness and injury.  Here’s what Christopher McDougal, in his book “Born to Run,” has to say about that:

“Just look at the architecture…Blueprint your feet, and you’ll find a marvel that engineers have been trying to match for centuries.  Your foot’s centerpiece is the arch, the greatest weight-bearing design ever created.  The beauty of any arch is the way it gets stronger under stress; the harder you push down, the tighter its parts mesh.  No stone mason worth his trowel would ever stick a support under an arch; push up from underneath, and you weaken the whole structure.  Buttressing the foot’s arch from all sides is a high-tensile web of 26 bones, 33 joints, 12 rubbery tendons, and 18 muscles, all stretching and flexing like an earthquake-resistant suspension bridge.”

The more we try to fix, to “correct,” to change, the more damage we are doing.  The same holds true in permaculture farming.  The more weeds we pull, the more fertilizer we dump, the more we try to interfere with the natural workings of things, the poorer the soil quality gets, the more polluted our water systems get, the less productive our crops become.

So why can’t we just stop trying so hard to fix things that are not broken?  Why is it so hard just to love and accept ourselves and this earth, when both were built to flourish?  Maybe the only thing we need to fix is our ability to trust.  To trust ourselves.  To trust our bodies.  To trust the Universe.  This is the practice of Yoga.  This is the place where tolerance starts.

The Daily Grind

1.) Today I was introduced to electro-tango.  Mind blown.  Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0c74pA4rtA

2.) On my way to the kitchen, I pick herbs for my tea-of-the-day concoction.  Today’s brew: lemongrass, lemonmint, and tarragon.  Yummmmy!

3.) It’s hard to constantly say goodbye to the amazing people who pass through here.  Tough lesson in aparigraha.

4.) Tonight I’m going to dance like I was born in Latin-America.

5.) When the moon is full, the sky is so bright there’s no need for flashlights.  There’s nothing more beautiful than the way that shadows play across the ground when the moon is high.

6.) Last night, I saw one of the dippers.  I’m not sure which one.  My astronomy skills aren’t that developed yet.  Step two: master navigation by stars.

7.) I can now identify a few animals just by their sounds.  I’m still learning to speak their language, though.

8.) People give me really weird looks here when I ask for a “Mexican” coke.  You understand if you’re from Texas.

The Daily Grind

1.)  Sunset is my favorite time here, when the world takes on sepia tones.

2.) My computer is pretending not to like me.  Please save, word document.

3.) This week I have seen two people who I thought I’d never see again.  Keep knockin’ em back, Universe!

4.) Yesterday, someone used this pick up line on me (and it actually worked): want to go search for glass frogs in the jungle at night?  Why yes.  Yes I do.

5.  If you ever have any (and I mean any) medicinal problem, Abelio, the head of the farm, will hike into the jungle and return 20 minutes later with a cure.  He will also tell your fortune through your artwork.

 

In honor of the full moon

We stole the wheelbarrow, raided the wood shop, and sacrificed a lot of napkins.  I sound so much cooler when I say things this way.  But really, we borrowed the wheelbarrow (though I guess for that to be fully true, I should take it back to the garden eventually).  We celebrated the new moon, the new cycle, with yoga and hula-hooping around the bonfire as the moon danced along, playing hide-and-seek behind the clouds.

I also learned a lot of cool new Spanish words:

hombre lobo = werewolf

la luna llena = full moon

a cachete, mae = cool, dude

rana = frog

fogata = campfire

And found out about “New Moon intentions,” which I think are my new favorite thing, and I definitely want to remember to do this when the next full moon rolls around.  A New Moon Intention is when you write an intention down on a piece of paper, and then put it in the fire to disperse it into the earth and air around you.  Or literally, to put your intention out there.  Too cool.

Daily Grind

1.) Today I read.  And read.  And read.  And played with the dogs at the pool.  And read.

2.) I’m trying to devour as much of this book on permaculture that my friend loaned me as I can before I leave here.  I am fascinated.  And obsessed.  Sometimes when I get super excited, scary things happen haha.

3.) Today was a rare, completely dry day here.  Knock on wood.  I didn’t even want to go swimming.  I just wanted to bake in the sun (not that I need much more baking) and dry out.

4.)  I feel like I should start planning where I’m headed next, but somehow I’m not too worried.  Last minute scramble is kind of one of my skills.

5.) Some bugs here bite so hard they draw blood.  Hey, I gave you the day off from bug-lore yesterday, but today they’re back with a vengeance.

6.) Today we found buds from plants that solidify into glass-like material.  If you pull the centers out, you have all-natural beads.  Mala bracelet, anyone?

Today was too sunny to focus any longer.  Later folks!

Finding myself

From the title, you may think this post is about finding myself in some esoteric, mystical way.  About finding my place in the philosophical universe.  Sometimes, yes, that’s what I mean by “finding myself.”  But today, I literally mean finding my way in the universe, following directions, not getting lost, and finding my way to and from the Ranch.

Directions here are so fluid, that anyone bred within the neat gridlines of a city block would feel completely hopeless.  Here are a few examples of directions (country-style) that I’ve been given since I’ve been here.

“The howler monkey nest is at the curve of the road right before the barn.”

“To get to the waterfall, cross the river four times.”

“Go either under or over the barbed-wire fence, whichever works best for you.”

 

Despite the vagueness, I actually, so far, have not gotten lost (knock on wood).  Here are my personal tips for finding myself when in doubt:

Always follow the hoof-prints.  This is how I followed the trail to the waterfall.

When feeling lost, follow the river upstream or downhill.  It will eventually empty into the lake near the volcano.

 

And remember – I’m never really lost.  Sometimes I’m just exploring for a little longer than I originally planned 🙂

The Daily Grind

1.) Today I sat by the shores of the lake and watched the shadows dance across the volcano.

2.) Here, time feels infinite.

3.) I’ve realized that all I need to be happy is a wide-open sky, a good beer, and a jar of peanut butter.

4.) I found the way over the mountain to the town on the other side today.

5.) I’ve now lost count of how many times I’ve hitchhiked.

6.) I drank fermented jackass bitters.  I’m beginning to think that every medicinal herb is “good for digestion.”

7.) I found the Ranch’s holy grail of medicinal herb guides and now have access to the flash drive copy.  Friends – be prepared to drink some funky concoctions when I get home.

8.) I learned that the most poisonous snakes are often found in sugarcane and pineapple fields.  This gives me a much greater appreciation for the people who grow my food.  And for pineapple, mmmm pineapple.

9.) I’m becoming obsessed with soil science and medicinal herbs.

10.) Yesterday I tasted a Costa Rican delicacy.  You may have heard of it, it’s called Peanut Butter.  om nom nom.

 

Cultivating Focus

My sister once told me that I give her indigestion from how much I move around.  I can hardly finish a mouthful of food before I’m off, running to the next activity.  Biking, doing yoga, studying, reading, training, working, cooking, or wherever else I might be. My mind moves fast, flitting around like a hummingbird flying swiftly from branch to branch.

I tried taking a six week meditation workshop to cultivate focus.  That helped a lot, actually.  I can now sit still long enough to drink a cup of tea.  But I still have so much further to go.  With an over-active throat chakra, my listening skills could certainly use some honing.  Not to mention my paying-attention skills.  And my sitting-still skills.  I could continue to list but I’ll give myself a break here.

The point is, cultivating focus is an essential part of my daily practice, both in life and in yoga.  Today I was weeding in the medicinal garden, which is one of my favorite gardening puns.  These puns include:

1.) All I do is weed all day.  And:

2.) I’m dealing with a lot of crap right now, ok?  (referring to all the lovely manure and compost).

Wait, where was I?  Oh yes, focus.  Back to focus.

This morning I was in the medicinal garden and I inquired aloud whether there was a type of organic adderall.  A few hours later, while browsing the pages of a medicinal herb guide, my friend and I found that Tarragon is, in fact, used to treat focus/learning disorders and hyperactivity.  It says you’re supposed to make a tea out of it, but picking it fresh from the garden and eating it there is kind of the same thing, right?  I figured maybe it takes an hour or two to take effect?

But aside from magic, medicinal fixes, there are a few things that I’ve been trying to do to literally cultivate focus.  They are eye exercises.  Here are a few exercises that I learned in a yoga workshop last week that I’ve been trying to do at least once a day:

1.) Bring the palms of the hands to rest over your closed eyes, to bring a little warmth and relaxation to the eyeballs.

2.) Holding one thumb out in front of you, move the arm in big circles, first counterclockwise, and then clockwise, keeping the eyes fixed on the thumb the whole time without moving the head.  This helps build the eye muscles.

3.) Holding one thumb out in front of you with the arm straight, keeping the gaze on the thumb, draw the thumb into the nose, and then move back out until the arm is straight.

Do ten repetitions of each of these exercises.  Over time, the eyeballs will strengthen, and it can cultivate that single focus on the thumb, minimizing other distractions.

All I can do is take one step at a time.  I’m just trying to learn to focus on where I’m stepping each foot right now.  Let me know if you have tips or suggestions for building focus!